Be Calm & Carry On.

Geez, people are in a rush these days. This, coming from a chick who tends to let her handwriting take on the form of a childs as she rushes to articulate words from mind onto paper in the gazelle-like speed that they manifest. Coming from she who stumbles over her words as the excitement of fresh opinions, thoughts, concepts bombard her consciousness to the point that SHE HAS TO SAY IT NOW. Regardless of whoever else is unfortunate enough to be attempting to speak. I realy should do something about my ignorance, interrupting people is just not acceptable and I have gotten away with it for far too long. Oh yes, and I deviate from my line of thought because of said anxiousness to relay every morsel that my mind digests.

So anyway, people are in a rush. One very big race to do everything that 'everybody else' is doing. And as much as I like to let my mouth run away in a frenzy of chitter-chatter and prefer to run before I can walk when it comes to hobbies new, I am by no means in a hurry for the chapters of my life to emerge and take form any sooner than that elusive lady-in-waiting, Destiny, has decided. I'mwith 2 kids, it's been kinda' hectic already for crying out loud.

The union with my husband began 12 years ago; we met at a time that pointed towards failure, he moving to a different country within days of our introduction. Truly, we let it happen, whatever it would be. Que sera sera. It was not rushed or pushed, but allowed to take course. We didn't care much for each other, we didn't stay indoors and pine for each other, foregoing any form of fun until our next rendezvous and  there was no grand gestures of love at first sight(although I am not a cynic on such matters, I believe in it wholly), but it was in our bones from birth. We were a match. No persuasion of emotions would or could have made what we have and I'm not so much proud but priviledged that I spent no wasted time or effort. It just was. It just is.

My children have setted into my belly and come to life at a time that was not necessarily ideal for me,but the final outcome has been perfection. It was meant to be.

On the contrary, I have attempted to shape my life in a way that just was not laid out in my cards and the result has been a big, fat bite in the ass. I've tried to be the waif-like rocker, booze-induced smiles hiding the shame that I felt at the disgusting way that I was treating my body. Saccharine substituted sustenance of a true kind and wow, when that low-cal high hit a low, it was time for me to understand that Earth did not provide us with the raw sweetness of fruits and natural energy of nuts for us to cast aside as inadequate means for me to attain that lean thigh. Bitten in the fat ass I was; no slimmer, just grey of face and hungover. I wasn't what Mother Nature intended me to be; she moulded me with shapely hips and breasts that a child could fatten her bones from. When I got back to the truth of the matter and gave my creator the respect for her art that was requested, Destiny was realigned. The world of Sian became peaceful. Curvier, but peaceful :)

I'm wondering why it's taking so many of us so long to get the pretty simple message that things will happen at the pace that they're meant to happen. Sure, we all 'want'. We all like to dream about the future and even plan a little about what might happen when we get there. But if you just slow down and watch someone in the midst of it all, in the centre of forcing what may or may not already be, you just pay attention and I dare you not to cringe at the car crash that is right in front of you. I've watched with salt-stung teary eyes too many times as what could have been paradise, natural and inevitable, is suddenly thwarted, bent out of shape. Ruined. By rush.

It's friday today. It's the weekend for most and it's probably a very good time to slow down. Think. But don't do. Just let it be what it will be.

I'll practice what I preach, repeating loops of my l's and dots of my i's until my handwriting is worthy of adult stature and attempt a cure at mid-flow stutter....Be Calm And Carry On.